EXISTING VS LIVING

I know we've all wondered at one point in time why we're put here on earth, or why some of us live long life's, while others are taken too soon. I don't think we'll ever find the true meaning of life until we die, and by that time.. seriously does it matter? I mean that's like finding a cure for Cancer after you die from 'having" cancer, right?

Nonetheless, recently I've been thinking of an ex coworker of mine, we stopped talking when I quit working for her and haven't talked since 2006, but no matter what the tension between her and I is, the fact remains that one thing I always admired about her was her commitment to her children. She adores them, would do anything for them, is proud of them no matter what they've ever done -good or bad. Whenever she was feeling bad, all I had to do was ask how Eli, Ellie or Caitlin was doing, and that seemed to make her face immediately brighten up and she would forget about whatever ailed her at that given time. Her relationship with her kids is so heartwarming, they're like a big giant hug.. they've shared some good times, and bad times together, but no matter what, they could always count on each other to get through the rough times. I, myself never had kids and would envy her for having that special bond, but throughout it all, I always admired her for being the mom that every child should have, but seldom do.

This last couple of weeks, her son Eli suffered a stroke thousands of miles away, and she went to be by his side, and if I know her, even though her heart was breaking, she put herself on the back burner and made jokes, kept smiles on her face and did everything feasibly possible to let her son believe everything was going to be okay. Sad to say, Eli passed away and I can only imagine what she's going thru, I can only imagine what she's thinking, I can only imagine.. and this is why I chose to blog today, because this kid had everything going for him, good looks, funny, charming, smart, athletic, you name it.. and yet he's gone, and there are tons of kids out there who raise hell, do drugs, join gangs, kill each other, and yet they're all still here.. all still existing but not living.. when here is a young man who LIVED.. who was meant to be alive, was meant to get married, have children, and grow old.. ???? I can't understand it.

I've always said God only takes the best to use as models, but after losing almost everyone I was close to in the 90's.. that excuse became just that.. an excuse. An excuse with no backing, no reasoning, no logic behind it, nothing.. bottom line is.. 'life is unfair.'

So, RIP Eli, and all those who had so much to give and live for. Let's hope you've been promoted to a much bigger, brighter and more prosperous life.. You deserve it.